Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I am very disappointed...

I joined an Easter basket swap. Sounded like a great thing.

I decided to make it up to two previous swap pals I had failed, so I made three Easter packages.

I sent them on 10th of March, so that they will be sure to arrive before Good Friday.
On 14th I got the first "It has arrived" message.
The second package arrived to New Zealand perfectly straight before Easter.
I don't know what has happened to the third package - the "real" Easter basket swap package. I don't know if it has arrived, or got lost in mail or what. I haven't heard anything from my swap pal.

In fact, my swap pal hasn't "said" one word to me since the end of February, after she gave me her preferences list and address...
I don't know if she has received my list and addy. She hasn't responded to any of my mails.
They haven't bounced, so they went somewhere.
I posted them as replies to her mails, so I assume the email addy was correct and she has got them.
But I can only assume.

The worst thing here is that my swap pal is the organizer of the swap...
She thanks a lot of people in her blog for sending her a hostess gift. I'm not mentioned.

I asked in that blog entry if she has received my package. She hasn't answered.

She has announced another swap.

I am bitter, angry, seriously p'd off... I feel like I was being used, and this person is a person I used to look up upon, as a role model in the Internet crafting community.

I would have full understanding if she lost my mail address, but the thing is that I have left comments on her blog, and those comments have a link to my blog. All she would need to do to get in contact with me was to leave a comment in my blog.

And, frankly, the swap organizer shouldn't loose the swap participants' addies. Sure, accidents happen, but she has organized swaps before and will organize swaps in the future as well.

I would have full understanding if she was late with the package, because I think she's moving right now... Only if she told me what is happening. It's the least one can do, communicate with one's swap pal...

And how will I get any... compensation, sympathy, apologies or something? I was let down by the organizer herself! If she doesn't think it's important enough to communicate with me during the swap, why would she care about finding out if people have been let down and organize swap fairies?
I was the fairy in the swap I arranged.

I am not only bitter and angry. I'm also sad and disappointed... I was really looking forward an Easter surprise...

I'm also confused and worried, because I know "things" happen and I don't know what has happened here.

But this will be the last swap I'll ever participate in my life. It's fun to get packages, but this is not fun at all.

P.S. After I had written this post and left a message in her blog telling her that I don't find the absence of communication and swap amusing, and that if she is so stressed she says she is, maybe she shouldn't be organizing swaps, she suddenly found my email address and managed to get through not only one (9th of April) but two mails - something she said she hadn't been able to do previously >:-> - telling me that I am "extremely pushy and demanding", "unhappy person" and drama queen, that I have no business in telling her how to manage her life, that it's my own fault that I haven't got anything (not even other mails but these "oh-poor-me-bad-you" mails), that her life is so horrrrrrribly difficult right now and how she doesn't "need this negativity" - as if I do - and how mean I am, spoiling her blogging and swapping experience with my nasty comments and unlikable behavior...
Not one word of apology for my hurt feelings and bad experience, only demands to understand and forgive hers...

She also said "If you would have given me the chance I would have posted what you sent as well". It's 12th of May now, and she still hasn't posted "what I sent as well"... What kind of "chance" does she expect to get? A year or two, perhaps?

She also said that she had sent my package "over three weeks ago" - she said this on April 9th, 3 weeks after Easter... I wonder how long she calculated a package from USA takes time to travel to Sweden... it's usually 2-4 weeks. It's quite possible that the package was still traveling from USA to Sweden. Considering that it has been all silent from the post office, I doubt it is coming...

She said she's going to send me another, and I told her not to. I hope she respected that wish of mine, even though I got the impression from the mails that she might just send me a package just to spite my wish... I really don't want to have anything to do with the person.

Do you think I painted her as a monster in this blog entry, like she says? Or as a bad swapper, like I say?

Added 23/3-20 - 12 years later and still, every year, when I see an Easter basket, I remember her and I hate her.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry this happened to you. I can certainly understand your anger and disappointment. I have yet to do a swap..and after this, I don't think I will. It sounds fun, if everyone does what they say they will do, but if they don't, then it just ends up hurting someone. There is enough hurt in this world without having to add to it. I am sorry, and I know that doens't really help. But I just wanted you to know, that someone out here was listening and understood. :)

Ketutar said...

In fact, it does help :-) Because you are telling me that I'm not overreacting, disrespectful, ingrateful, stupid bitch I'm afraid to be...
Thank you :-)

Monica-FC said...

Imhave had this happen to me also. But I still swap where it is safe to swap in. where i know it will be great to see something in return.

Anonymous said...

My dearest, my love I am so sorry you had to have this happen to you. I know how much time and energy you put into your swap packages. I also know that this is not the first time a package went to the gremlins instead of to you.

I have now read the responses you got from the person in question, and I have honestly never heard/read so much crap from one person in one sitting. She is seriously lying through here teeth.

Her claims that the mails that she sent you have been bouncing - sorry, but it is impossible. You visit your Yahoo box at least once very day, and the C-Sam server is purged of all old mail on automation once every 24 hours.

Her claims become even more preposterous when she apparently have no difficulty contacting you when you start criticizing her for the way she has been treating you.


I have known you for more than 10 years, and never have I seen you pushy, demanding or nasty when it comes to giving and receiving packages in Swaps. I have also seen how you are, every time something like this happens, that you are left out, or your package doesn't arrive, very subdued, sad and withdrawn - hardly the traits of a PUSHY, DEMANDING or NASTY person.

Her claims that you are the only one who have been having problems, tells me that indeed she never sent you any mails, she never planned on sending any package and she is using her personal situation, which is completely irrelevant, as an excuse to get out a bind.

I have read most of what you sent to this person, I can't read the comments you made on her blog, since she didn't have the stones to let the paper trail remain, but the rest I have read. Not once have you expressed yourself in a PUSHY, DEMANDING or NASTY manner. Asking questions yes, expecting a reply yes - but then if you didn't expect her to respond, why bother contacting her with questions? That would just be a waste of time and energy.

She is obviously projecting her own personality traits on you after realizing that you are right in your criticism - a criticism that didn't come up before it was obvious that there would be no package for you.

It is demanding to run a swap, and if one is aware that one might not have all the time needed, then one shouldn't run a swap. Simple as that. Using others as a "recreational prop", as it seems this person is doing is not acceptable:

"yes the swaps may add a little more stress but they also relieve it by giving me an outlet for stress"

If one cannot run a swap one should ask for help from others, and turn them over so people don't get hurt. And organize Fairies so that those who might end up without packages from their swap pals get something any way.

Again my love, I am sorry you had this happen to you. Be certain that you have done nothing wrong in this.

You very loving and caring, yet furious Husband

Silly Old Bear