Journaling my blog...

No.

I started... went through December to July and noticed that the more I write in my blog the less I do... As if the fact that the idea is on paper is enough... Knowing that the link to a pattern is in blog so that I can go there when ever I want means that I never go there.

Noticed that I have a fear of doing useless things... and that's sick.
I'm an artist, I feel great when slapping color on paper, even when a little kid I loved to make art... just admire a line, a color, the combinations of lines and colors...
I went to art therapy for a year, and remembered how much I like to make art. Guess how much art I do? I have painted one (1) picture this year.
If you look at the pictures and other things in my blog, you'll notice I appreciate creative people, people who create because they have an urge to create...
I have participated in NaNoWriMo for three years in a row now and haven't managed to write more than a couple of thousand words! Me! Me who sat down on Finnish lesson and started writing, and had to go and ask more paper, because the four pages we were given weren't enough...
I'm an artist who doesn't make art, a writer who doesn't write, a crafter who doesn't create. So what am I? Terrified little mouse watching my gifts trickle away... dying to do things but afraid to death to create something with no other purpose but to exist. "We have enough junk already".

So now I'm going to do something every day. Sit down for an hour and do something concrete and real before writing another word in this blog.